I went back to our hospital room and quickly started scouring the internet for some sort of other option. I knew that it was possible to pump breast milk and give it to him through a bottle. But the concept of keeping that up long term is something I had no idea existed. From my own research I found that while its not very common, there are women out there who Exclusively Pump (EP). These women, whether due to medical difficulties, past abuse, failure to latch, or supply issues, choose to pump their milk and bottle feed it to their babies for as long as they can. I recently saw a woman in one of my EP boards that kept it up for 34 months (Way longer than I plan to do).
So with a new found hope I decided that I would not give up on my goal of giving Jack breast milk for his first year. After all I had nursed Ella until she was 14 months and I was so looking forward to sharing that bond with Jack. Though at times it is still hard for me to come to grips with the fact that Jack and I aren't on the path I had originally planned. It is still hard for me to sit in the infant cry room at my church and see other moms holding their babies to their chest while I am holding Jack's bottle in his mouth or hooked up to my pump. I find it hard to not be jealous of them and that special time they get to spend with their babies. In a way I feel like I am in mourning over it still, but those are feelings that I am working through.
One of the first things I learned about EPing was that I should make mini goals. My first mini goal was to get Jack to 1 month old on only breast milk and today is that day :). This has not been a cake walk thus far and I know there are going to be more obstacles to come but here are some tid bits of advice from the lessons we have learned during our first month of EPing. If you or someone you know is considering EPing or you are currently going through this journey with your baby I have found it helpful to:
1. Have a support system! It is so important to have people cheering you on and who are willing to help in any way possible. My hubby has been my hero during this learning process, taking care of both of the kids while I hook up to the pump and try to concentrate on not being stressed ( not an easy task). It has also been so amazing to have friends who understand why I am putting myself through this and who support me by allowing me to pump at their homes while we hang out and not making a big deal about it. I have pumped at their homes during our girls nights or just times when our families hang out together. They completely understand when I am running 20 minutes behind because I had to pump before leaving the house. My family was amazing with this during the holidays. I even pumped at the card table while playing rummy with my two brothers.
2. Educate yourself and those around you! You will soon find that there is not a lot of material out there about EPing. Even my pediatrician , whom I love, told me that I probably won't be able to keep up with EPing for a long time. I have read stories of both women who have made it to 12 months and women who found it impossible. There are so many herbal remedies, prescription medicines, dietary changes, etc. that you can take to help your milk supply grow and be able to maintain it. Currently I am taking Reglan ( a prescription drug that aides lactation) and Fenugreek ( an herbal supplement). I also make sure to eat at least 2 servings of oatmeal a day which makes a huge difference for me. Educating those around you about EPing will also help you a lot. I make sure to fill my friends in on my discoveries and what I am finding helpful. A lot of people look at me like I have two heads when I tell them that I pump for 20 minutes every 3 hours around the clock. They wonder why I would put myself through that and tell me repeatedly that it would be so much easier to just switch him to formula. But for me that isn't even an option right now. For me there has never been a gray area about giving Jack breast milk. If its there and I can supply it to him, then I am willing to do whatever it takes. Babies with cleft palates get ear infections a lot ( up to 1 a month). Breast milk helps cut that number down significantly. It is also easy for cleft palate babies to aspirate their milk which means that they breathe some of it into their lungs while eating. If they aspirate anything it can be dangerous but breast milk is not as harmful if aspirated. Cleft palate babies will all eventually have surgery. Breast milk contains antibodies that help fight off infections that are soo easy to catch in the hospital and after surgery.
3. Join a support group for EPers! I just joined an EP group on facebook and it has been a life saver! It is so nice to be able to ask questions and get real life answers from women who have been in your shoes. They don't judge you for being emotional about certain things or for worrying more than normal. THey don't even bat an eye when you are crying at 1 am because you spilled half an ounce of breast milk that took you 10 minutes to pump :)
4. Set small goals and celebrate them! Know that every bit of breast milk you give your child makes a difference! This is something that I am constantly telling and retelling myself! At first I thought, Ok this is possible and I am going to get Jack to 12 months, then I realized exactly how long 12 months is and how many things could happen between here and there. It is so much easier and more practical to set smaller goals for yourself. My first goal was 1 month and I am so incredibly happy to say that we have accomplished that! My next goal is 3 months and 2 weeks ago that seemed impossible but now it seems so much more manageable.
5. Find a Lactation Consultant and ask her a million questions :)! I cannot express how much I love my LC. She answers my emails quickly, was so kind and compassionate when I cried like a baby in her office when Jack wouldn't latch and completely understands why I want to work so hard to give him breast milk. A good LC is an invaluable resource and I could not imagine going through this without one!
So there is what I have found helpful so far. Any other EPers out there? What helps/helped you?
Here is an adorable picture of my sweet 1 month old boy!
