A vacation bucket list

Sean and I recently decided that in two years we WILL go on a family vacation. We are starting to save for this now so that we can have the type of vacation we want and not have to skimp on any of it! Right now we are in the research phase. In the summer of 2014 we will have a 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old.  I've been spending way too much time on the computer researching some of the best vacation spots to take toddlers. All of this has me thinking....

There is a lot I want to do with my children before they grow up and leave me!

My family never vacationed. I took my first flight when I was 18 and on that trip I saw the ocean for the first time. Since then I have been to two different countries and vacationed on the beach multiple times. This has sparked a fire in me that I never knew existed. I am a traveler and I want to see the world.

However I am now also a mother. This shouldn't change my passion for seeing the beautiful things God has created all over the world. Instead it has driven me to want to drag my children along for the ride! I look at Ella and know that there are so many things that they can't teach her in school. They won't be able to teach her the excitement and anxiety of visiting a foreign country. They won't be able to teach her how the sand feels between her toes and how soothing it is to fall asleep to the sound of crashing waves. 

Knowing this motivates me to get her out there. Let her experience the world and see the things that make it obvious that God created everything!

Ok. My rant is over. My original purpose for this post was to share some of the places I am determined to take my family to. Not a bucket list to achieve before I die, rather one to finish before Ella gets married and leaves the nest.

So... here goes

1. Yellowstone, Rocky Mountains
2. Grand Canyon
3. Alaska
4. Scotland & Ireland
5. General Europe trip that must include Italy and Macedonia (where my ancestors were from)
6. 7. Hawaii- mostly to visit the Pearl Harbor Memorial
8. Cancun- mostly because Sean loves it so much and I have never been
9. South America
10. Australia

Ok. So we have hopefully around 20 years to accomplish all of this. Hopefully we can do it :)

New Book Review

I'm not quite sure where to begin with this review. Truthfully I couldn't put this book down and even though I finished it a week ago, I can't seem to stop talking about it. To say that this book impacted me is an understatement.  I feel like the testimony of Adam Brown is still working in my mind and in my heart.

This is the story of Adam Brown. In high school he was a star athlete, but ended up taking the wrong path. Adam fell hard and fast into the world of drug addiction, but miraculously found God along the way. His family and his girlfriend, Kelly, never gave up on him. When he decided that he wanted to become a Navy Seal, they were behind him the whole way. This book gives you a look into the lives of people around Adam and how he impacted them. He was always respectful and humble, treating everyone around him as a brother or sister. Adam is a true American Hero and lost his life in the Afghanistan during the war in Iraq, leaving behind not only a wife and two children, but a legacy that will be told for many years to come!

As a Christian reading this book made me examine my own faith and reliance on God. It made me question how much I truly trust in the Lord and wonder how I would act if put in a life or death situation. Adam's testimony spoke straight to my heart. I want to eventually become an addiction counselor and though I have a decent amount of school left to finish, this book got me really excited to get out there and start helping people. Adam is proof that you can beat addiction and that NOTHING is stronger that God. 

As a sister to an Iraq war vet, Adam's story brought me back to the memories of when my brother served two tours over seas. I never truly ask what went on over there, because I imagine it would be impossible for my brother to really explain any of it. While reading of Adam's final tour and the day of his death I literally had to put the book down and gain composure so that I could continue reading.

As a mother, Adam's story challenges me to be a good example for my children. To raise them to know Jesus and the sacrifice he made. To raise them to treat people with respect and kindness. To raise them so there is no doubt that I unconditionally love them and their father.

Do yourself a favor and go read this book!!!
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Ding Ding Ding... Round 2

Well for those of you who follow my facebook page you have already heard the good news!

Sean and I are expanding our family yet again! We waited until 13 weeks to tell most people about Ella when we were pregnant with her, but this time we broke the news a little earlier. I will be 11 weeks tomorrow. This time around has been much different than my pregnancy with Ella. I have had really bad morning sickness and food aversions. I get so hungry that it makes me want to throw up , but the thought of putting food in my mouth makes it even worse. Luckily some of that is starting to subside and I am really looking forward to my second trimester and the boost of energy it will hopefully bring!

Sean and I could not be more excited! We tried to conceive for over a year with Ella and had started to think that maybe it just wasn't going to happen for us, then God decided to bless us with her during a time when we did not have insurance coverage for maternity . But as He always does, He provided abundantly for us and we truly learned the joy that comes with trusting in our Father! This time around we got pregnant in a flash. We decided in February that we would start trying again, so I made the appointment and had my IUD ( Mirena) removed and we were pregnant by March lol. I was in a complete state of shock for a few weeks. I couldn't believe that it happened so easily and the pessimist in me thought that surely the floor would fall out from under us and we would get some sort of bad news eventually. So far that worry has been for nothing!! The baby is growing the way it should and we got to see the heartbeat at 7 weeks 3 days.



I had purchased an at home Fetal Doppler when I was pregnant with Ella and I so around 9 weeks I busted it out and started looking for babies heartbeat. Sure enough I could hear it!!! My doppler said the heartbeat was 156 (which is lower than Ella's ever was). Of course that makes everyone say that this one will be a boy! OH how I would love to have a son, but truthfully I couldn't care less what the sex of the baby is. AS long as I know the baby is healthy it doesn't matter to me.

I hope to have more updates soon. My next appointment is in a week. NO ultrasound this time, but the doctor will listen to the heartbeat.

I still can't believe this is happening again!

Book Review

Ella loves books. She normally chooses to sit in her giraffe chair and surround herself with books for most of the day. She loves flipping the pages and pointing to the animals and making funny little noises. She loves to have me plop down beside her read the books to her. She really just loves anything to do with books. Which is great for her growing little mind, but not so great for most of the books themselves. She is only 15 months old and a lot of her books are already missing pages or the binding is coming undone. That is why we love board books!

I first saw this book in paperback form and thought it was very cute, but didn't pick it up because I knew Ella would rip it to shreds in no time. I was so excited when I saw that they also have this book in board form! Ella took to it right away. She loves turning the pages and growling at each of the bears on the page. She likes the part of the book where the mothers belly gets bigger and everyone is looking at it. She will pull up her shirt to look at her own belly :) Super adorable! She loves this book for the pictures of the animals and the vibrant and bright colors.

I love this book for the message it brings. It tells the story of a Mother polar bear who is teaching her child about how God gave her a baby. I love that the book talks about how the parents wanted a child and God answered their prayers. I was also very happy that it shows that the child is growing in the mother's belly and how happy the parents are! This is a very cute book with a very positive message! I would recommend it to any parent out there! Beware though, you may need a tissue when you read it!
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

A post about boobs... well technically breastfeeding

 There was a time where I didn't think I would write this post. Ella's first week  home was soo rough and I thought I would have to give up on my idea of breastfeeding her for the whole first year. We endured the frequent weight checks and trips to the lactation consultants office in tears and here we are... Ella is approaching 15 months and she is now fully weaned.

I wanted to wait until she was completely off the "tap" before I wrote this. Truthfully this whole weaning process has been emotional for me. I tried when she was 12 months and then felt guilty for turning her away so we went back to 2 feedings a day. I tried again at 13 months and decided that I wouldn't force it, that I would just feed her when she asked for it. Slowly the feedings dwindled down. From 2 a day to 1 a day to 1 every other day and eventually she started going 2-3 days without it. I can honestly say I don't remember the last time I nursed her. That makes me a little sad because I felt like it would be a memory I would always cherish. That last time I would share such an incredibly special bond with my daughter. But life just sort of happened and we got busy and she just stopped. 

We had her sleep in our room for the entire time she was nursing. It was just sooo much easier and I have to admit I could probably count on two hands the number of times we were up with a crying baby more than once at night. Ella was a cuddler and we really enjoyed having her with us. I thought she might put up a fight when we switched her to her own room. But truthfully I think it was harder on me than it was on her. Each night we read a book, sing a song, and she plays quietly in her crib with this little lantern toy until she drifts off to sleep. SO that has been a huge blessing to go along with weaning. I don't have any guilt about kicking her out of our room and taking the "tap" away at the same time lol.

So this post was supposed to turn out to be some tips of mine from our year of nursing. So here are a few products that I could not have lived without while I was breastfeeding!

- Lansinoh HPA Lanolin! This stuff is a life saver for cracked and sore nipples. I was afraid of using too much at the beginning and I paid for that mistake. Its safe for baby to ingest so cake it on after each feeding!





- Lansinoh Disposable Nursing Pads! I never really had a huge problem with leaking but when you are caking the lanolin on all the time its better to have a pad to keep from sticking to your bra. I really liked these because they had the most cushion.

- Medela InStyle Electric Breast Pump! If you are going back to work or you just want to give hubby a chance to feed the baby I really recommend this pump. I actually borrowed it from a friend who used it for her two children and it still worked great! Medela makes a smaller version now that still comes with a nice carrying case I believe it is called the Freestyle.


 
If you decide to pump you will need these handy little bottles to pump into. I only used them for pumping the milk and then I would put the expressed milk into freezer bags. When it was time to feed I would just put the thawed milk back into these bottles and Ella took to it very easily. I found that the Medela nipples were as close to the real thing as I could get. Ella tried other bottles but they seemed to have too fast of a flow, but the Medela slow flow nipples really worked great for us. 

 
I always used the Lansinoh breast milk storage bags. They were normally the best value at the store and they stand up on their own which was very handy when thawing the milk. 



Something that no one warned me about was how bad nipple damage could be. Ella had a very strong latch which made things very difficult for us in the beginning, but then I went to the lactation consultant and she gave me one of these handy little things. It is a shield you put over your nipple before you nurse. It protects you from further damage during feedings and lets your nipples have time to heal up. Another tip I used for cracked nipples was to put wet tea bags in my bra in between feedings. I know it sounds weird but the tea really does work and it helps you heal so quickly! Just place the wet tea bag directly on your nipple then put a nursing pad over that and then put your bra back on.


The last thing I will list in the Hooter Hider! It has a funny name, but it works like a charm. It has a rigid rim around the top so you can see your baby when you feed her but no one else can. It sure beats fidgeting with a blanket in public. I fed Ella in restaurants, stores, and even at church using this baby! There are lots of products similar to this but I found that Hooter Hider had the cutest prints.











So there you have, my own personal arsenal of breastfeeding must haves! I also used the website kellymom for a ton of advice. It has a lot of really good articles and tips for you to read. My own personal advice to is to pump some even if you are going to a be a stay at home mom. It is so nice to be able to let someone else feed the baby once in a while and I know that my hubby really enjoyed sharing that time with Ella. I hope that someone somewhere can find these little tips helpful. I know that breastfeeding turned out to be quite the journey for me, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!! 

Missing You!

I just got done laying Ella down in her crib for the night. Nothing really out of the ordinary. Same Routine. Book. Song. Kisses. Blanket. Night Light... but when I  laid her down in her crib the moonlight hit her just right and I caught a glimpse of you in her face. The way her hair lays across her forehead, her laugh and her expressions, the way she knows exactly the right time to run across the room and hug my neck... I know all of these things come from you!

It's hard to believe that you aren't here to witness this. To see me as a wife and as a mother. It is even harder not having your advice and guidance in these areas of my life. The longer I am away from you the harder it is for me to remember the small details. How you got your cookies to be exactly the same size, when and where to plant my vegetable garden, what is the right amount of lumps in the mashed potatoes.

Most of the time I feel like I'm making it up as I go. I hope you are proud of me. I get worried that I'm not living up to the woman you raised me to be. I can't ever seem to be as compassionate or patient as you were.

I'm mostly sad that Ella doesn't get the chance to know you. To learn from you. To feel your unconditional love. That is the cruelest part of death. Never being able to fully describe the person to someone who has never met them. You would have loved her. She is sassy and she loves to dance. She is smart and beautiful and outgoing! She would also love you! She definitely has your since of humor and she show cases all of her emotions with her eyebrows!

I know you are in a better place and I am so happy that you are not suffering anymore. You were the strongest woman I have ever known and in so many ways I am still trying to live up to you. One day we will meet again and I will fill you in on all of my mistakes and mishaps as a mother! I am sure you will laugh and tell me the story about how mom poured baby powder all over her bedroom floor so she could ice skate on it :)

But for now, at 12:30 on a random Wednesday morning I.am. MISSING. YOU!

I've got a fever...

The weather has been weird lately. I know I live in Indiana and the weather is always weird but this winter has been incredibly mild and seems to be coming to an end fairly early... which has me longing for summer. Spring is my least favorite season. It's pretty yes, but its like the temperature can't make up its mind. It's beautiful outside one minute and raining the next. Its all a little draining for me... I have always been a summer and fall type girl. I love hot days lounging by a pool and I love the beauty that is the midwest in the fall. Normally when I've had my fill of winter and start getting antsy for summer I start longing for the hot days, the BBQ's, the vacations, the days spent entirely in the pool... However this year I can't seem to stop thinking of something entirely different...

Babies...

I was in my first trimester of pregnancy in the summer with Ella and the hot days were so hard on me. I drove a bus full of kids to the pool several times a week and when the temp. is 90 and there is no air conditioning it really wears on a pregnant lady. I wasn't very sick with Ella but I always had to have a Gatorade by my side in case I got nauseous... it was the only thing that helped. Tonight I am sipping a Gatorade and Ella is asleep beside me and all I can think of is wanting to be pregnant again. Not because Ella isn't enough. God knows that this little darling is perfect in my eyes :) Mostly because that has always been in the plan... ya know, love and marriage, house, fence, 2.5 kids.

It took us quite a while to conceive Ella and I am so nervous that it will take that or even longer next time. I also worry that my next pregnancy will be horrible and I will be sick all the time. But more than all the worry about the what ifs... I am excited. Lord willing I will get pregnant again. I will get morning sickness and my feet will swell. I will get more stretch marks and my belly will feel like its literally going to explode... but I will get to experience that feeling again...

The feeling that my body is doing exactly what it was designed to do. That I look exactly like I'm supposed to look. I know some women feel gross when they are pregnant and as their bellies get bigger they dread looking in the mirror, but I have to admit that I loved being pregnant. I always looked in the mirror and felt like I looked exactly the way I was supposed to. God had chosen me to help him form this new life... a piece of Sean and a piece of me... and that takes up space... loooots of space! I felt beautiful, swollen ankles and all!

That being said I am entering this time of patience again. A time where I throw up my hands and let God do His thang as far as timing goes ( as if He ever really consults me on these matters). This time around I will not let my anxiety run my life. I will sit back and trust that it will happen when its supposed to and until it does I will enjoy ever second that I get to spend with Ella as an only child!

Here are my favorite pics of my pregnancy with Ella.

 We actually didn't know she was snapping this pic of us... Were just this cute on a normal basis :)

 My bump was so little then

 You can't see my belly in this one but I like this pic of us.

 The day before we found out we were having a girl!